Selfless
by xin79
Summary: Inspired by episode 4x01 where Alicia wanted to celebrate with Will after his suspension was lifted only to find out he was already celebrating-just not with her.


**_Authors note: Lets admit it, we all love Alicia's scenes where she is looking at Will and Diane in secret. So here is a drabble and I'm not sure if it's making sense or not but I hope you like it._**

She had every intent of celebrating with him that night. She had picked up a good bottle of wine at the shop on her way back to the office from court. She knew he was still around even in this unholy hour because where else would he be. This is his home. The last of the employees had already left a few minutes ago save for the janitor who was cleaning up the days mess, getting the office ready for another batch of chaos the next day. Figuring she still had time for some paperwork before the surprise celebration, she had decided to stop by in her office.

It was dark when she came in but that was immediately resolved with one flick of the light switch. Immediately it came to life. She placed her bag on the couch which he sat down mere hours ago waiting for her to come back. No matter how unconventional that conversation might have been,it did little to tarnish the fact that she did miss him. He was in and out of the office for the past six months, something she thought would have absolutely killed him. But apparently he was made with stronger resolve. Those six months passed by like a wind gust; enough to be felt but quick enough not to be truly missed. She had seen less and less of him at that point and she figured it was just him trying to declutter everything on his plate- her included. She would see him at his office or the ones across from his at the partners corner. She would get snippets of him laughing, even truly enjoying himself in the company of those he trusted as she watched from the sidelines. She didn't mind though because she knew she was part of the original problem and this six months was just as about him getting back on his feet.

The ringing of her alarm had brought her back from the grave of her thoughts and she was once again reminded of the importance of the succeeding moments. Straightening up and fixing herself, she moved towards the other side of the office bottle of wine in hand. Her excitement grew with each step knowing that within minutes she will have him back. Pacing herself now, she turned towards the glass office expecting him to be there. To her surprise and dismay, she was met with an empty table and chair and she half wondered if he might have already gone home. Maybe the past six months really did change him. Before she concluded though, sounds of laughter echoed from behind her.

Turning about, she saw him. He was indeed still in the office and celebrating, just not with her. She saw just in time as he received the drink he was handed, gladly bringing it to his awaiting lips. A part of her was disappointed but another part of her understood. It even made sense. Running her thumb on the neck of the unopened bottle of wine, she set it down at his assistants table as still looked on. They were laughing, leaning side by side looking out into the great Chicago skyline. Though she badly wanted to be in his company's shoes, she knew she wouldn't have been a great replacement. There was an inexplicable bond between the two of them and no matter how she would like to think that she can replace it, she knew deep down that she couldn't. He might say she could but she knew that was not true. Bonds like that are enriched with experience; of trudging through the blood lines and surviving with few gapes and wounds. Gentle smiles were evident in their features, something she saw even from a far. She wanted to enter the office, break their celebration or be asked to join in but she knew it would be unfair to both of them. The other woman was the one who picked up the slack and held him together when he was breaking at the seems while she was the one who caused it. Naturally, they deserved to celebrate together.

Touching the bottle of wine one more time, Alicia left the office, hearing the boisterous laughter of Will and Diane echoing through the walls of Lockhart-Gardner. Stepping into the elevator, she understood. Finally, she allowed herself to smile because no matter how selfish she might have been the past few months, she knew he deserved this moment without her. She just had to be selfless for a change.


End file.
